Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Dwyane Wade Chats with Lebron James


DWade: “Sup, ‘Bron?”

LBJ: “What up? What up?”

DWade: “U rollin thru this weekend, right?”

LBJ: “You know it. Is Chris rollin too?”

DWade: “For sho! We’ll hang at the beach, holler at some broads, PLAY SOME BALL!”

LBJ: “Haha, you know you’ll have to do your best to convince me into a Heat jersey homie!”

DWade: “Ni#$a, ain’t no convincing to do. We got a beach. We got babes. We got boats. And soon, we’ll have Bosh. What more can you possibly want?”

LBJ: “I wanna win.”

DWade: “And we will bro. 5 years together. A dynasty. 3 Gold Medal Olympians all on one team. No one can stop us then!”

LBJ: “That’s what peeps were sayin bout my Cavs last year. That no one can stop us.”

DWade: “Psssh, come on now. Be real. Shaq isn’t the same guy last year that he was with me in ’06. Mo ain’t the Scottie to your Michael either. Antawn’s pretty washed up now too.”

LBJ: “Yea, and f#$%in Delonte…”

DWade: “Dawg, forget that. Your real boys are here. We ALL wanna win. Together we can take the Lakers and everyone else.”

LBJ: “I ain’t even gotten out the East last couple years. I feel like TMac in May.”

“Haha. Yo, we’ll manhandle the East together. Don’t even sweat it!”

LBJ: “How about the Magic and Celtics, and dare I say, the Bulls?”

DWade: “Ni$% what? Wait. Are you thinking of going to Chicago? You’re not thinking of going to Chicago, are you? You can’t possibly be thinking of going to Chicago?”

LBJ: “Well, I’m gonna talk to ‘em. See what they got in store. I wanna hear their case.”

DWade: “Lebron, the Bulls won’t treat you right.”

LBJ: “I wanna win, D.”

DWade: “And you think you’ll win with Tom Thibodeau? That first timer hasn’t proven anything yet.”

LBJ: “I know he’s new, but –“

DWade: “All he does is watch film.”

LBJ: “Yeah, but his defense with the Celtics – “

DWade: “I bet he ain’t even get laid in a minute.”

LBJ: (Laughs)

DWade: “Bro, we got Pat Riley. Hall of Fame coach. You gotta surround yourself with winners in order to be a winner.”

LBJ: “The Bulls have a good team, D.”

DWade: “Yeah, and we were better still. Look at our record. And remember my running trey over them in OT a couple years ago? I know you remember it.”

LBJ: “Yeah, yeah. I just wanna hear what they have to say.”

DWade: “Of course, mayn. Listen to the Bulls. And the Knicks and the Nets and the Clippers. Listen to ‘em all. Fact remains you know how sick we’d be together. We’d be better than Magic and Kareem, Stockton and Malone, Jordan and Pippen. We’d be DWade and Lebron”

LBJ: “Lebron and DWade.”

DWade: “Haha. Ayite ayite. That works. But don’t forget: Lebron, Bosh and DWade.”

LBJ: “Chris ain’t made up his mind yet.”

DWade: “’Bron, trust me when I say, Chris Bosh is comin’ to South Beach. Ask him yourself.”

LBJ: “I will…so you think we can really win together, huh?”

DWade: “That’s what I been tryin to tell you all along. We got the cheddar for all of us. And you know our endorsements will be insane.”

LBJ: “I definitely like cheddar.”

DWade: “I know this, playa!”

LBJ: “What about Chicago?”

DWade: “Let TMac go to Chicago.”

LBJ: “Well, how bout New York?”

DWade: “That’s JJ and Amare. Phoenix Suns Take 2. Whack!”

LBJ: “Hmmm. Ok. Straight. I’m comin, D. Don’t let me down. We gonna run the NBA like Kevin Johnson runs Sacramento.”

DWade: “Always. Always. See you soon.”

LBJ: “Peace.”

DWade: (Thinking too himself) “Damn, Lebron and Wade? That cat’s trippin’. He knows I run this town. Wade and Lebron. Wade and Lebron. Ain’t no doubt! Besides, I already got one ring on that fool. Fall 7 times, stand up 8. Kevin Johnson run Sacramento? Doesn’t that fool know I rule this world? All day, baby, all day.”

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Dwyane Wade Chats with Chris Bosh


DWade: “What up, C?”

CBosh: “Not much D. Can’t wait to step up outta here, stinkin Canadia!”

DWade: “Well with the girlies here in South Beach, you can’t go wrong.”

CBosh: “Haha, yeah…”

DWade: “In fact, I used to kick it with Gabrielle Union.

CBosh: “She so fine.”

DWade: “Yea, and I know you’re all into acting and everything. Maybe I can have her set you up with a director.”

CBosh: “Word?”

DWade: “For sho, playa. Anything for my new teammate.”

CBosh: “Haha, bro, I haven’t committed to the Heat yet homie. How you gonna just up and decide things for me, dawg?”

DWade: “Bro, we won together at the Olympics, remember?”

CBosh: “Tru dat!”

DWade: “And I already have a ring. If you came here, I’d be on an even better team with you than I was with Shaq in 2006.”

CBosh: “No doubt!”

DWade: “After all, ‘Bron’s on his way here too. We got all the money in the world, cuz!”

CBosh: “Hahah, shyyyttt!”

DWade: “So what, are you in money?”

CBosh: “Well, most likely. I mean, Chicago, ya know ---“

DWade: “Man, f*#$ Chicago. They don’t take care bout their players. They’re whack as f#$%. You saw what happened with MJ n Scottie n Phil Jackson. Even their PA announcer got canned!”

CBosh: “Psshh, yea. I remember that. Pretty whack!”

DWade: “Now Rose, he’s straight. But seriously, are you really gonna play Jo every day in practice and let him post you up with his long-a#$ ponytail? That cat’s outta control!”

CBosh: (Laughing Out Loud)

DWade: “But if you’re really considering them, go for it. I’ll just get ‘Bron and Boozer up in this mug.”

CBosh: “Man, don’t even…”

“Or better yet, better yet, ‘Bron and Amare”

CBosh: “Homie, you know I’m better than freakin Amare! I'll take that fool to school and take his lunch money too! Come on, now. Why you trippin? You know I’m rollin in my 24’s to Miami. Just chill out.”

DWade: “Ayite, well Come On Down. The Price is Right, ni#$a!”


(Thinking too himself) “Damn, that was way too easy.”